Having allergies is not funny, but a bit of dark humour every now and then never goes amiss. I had the idea for an allergy joke blog post when I saw the following joke in a recent copy of Readers Digest:
Q) Did you hear about the Frenchman who could only count to seven?
A) He had a huit allergy.
It brought a smile to my face and made me think about how many other allergy jokes I know, and there aren’t many. I did find one for all you cat allergy sufferers out there.
A picture of a cat wearing a dress spotted hanging in an allergy clinic with the following caption: We got rid of the kids, the cat was allergic. Visit Atchoo Allergy blog if you want to see a picture of the cat.
I found some more pretty cheesy ones on The Allergy Asthma and Immunology Society’s joke page:
Old Song Title: Blowin’ In The Wind by Peter Pollen Mary
Humans and bees have something in common – hives!
Another way to say that medications for allergic diseases are expensive: Robbing Peter to pay for Pollen
Not many of these jokes are really that funny; there seems to be a serious lack of good allergy jokes. I know it is definitely not a laughing matter; people die every year from allergies so it is serious but a bit of humour goes a long way and laughter is definitely a good medicine. If you can laugh at yourself you will find it easier to cope with the every day challenge of living with life threatening allergies.
I made this one up based on an actual experience that I had myself. I was in stitches but the waiter had no idea why I was laughing.
An allergy sufferer went into their local restaurant for a meal and asked the waiter, “I have a nut and dairy allergy, can you tell me how this meal is cooked?”
“Oh yes,” says the waiter, smiling helpfully, “It’s cooked in a Wok!”
A long time ago I went to see comedian Milton Jones performing live and have always remembered one of his jokes. He did a sketch based on a gag about his schoolmates who, knowing he has a potentially fatal peanut allergy, force him to play Russian Roulette with a packet of Revels. I can remember eating these as a child, and I soon found out how to tell which contained peanuts in order to avoid them. This was before the days of Epipens; I just knew peanuts made me sick and didn’t eat them. If you’ve never had Revels before they are chocolate covered snacks which contain different centres: orange, peanut, coffee, maltesar, toffee, chocolate and raisin. Everyone has their favourite flavour and the makers of Revels have created a very funny campaign around that very idea. You can view a clip of this recent advert here.
If you are allergic to bananas you might like this joke from the Peanut Allergy forum:
As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I work, I ask the patients if they are allergic to anything. If they are, I print it on an allergy band placed on the patients’ wrists. Once when I asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, she said she couldn’t eat bananas. Imagine my surprise when several hours later a very irate son came out to the nurses’ station demanding, “Who’s responsible for labelling my mother ‘bananas’?”
This next one is my husband’s contribution so I take no responsibility:
A man walks into a charity shop looking for a pair of trousers. The label inside declares, “May contain traces of nuts.
I would love to hear from anyone who has any other good allergy jokes, and if I find any more I’ll add them to this post. Keep smiling ;o)
for all the peanut allergic’s out there!! next time you take a piss make sure not to dribble any on your testicle’s…. Cause then you’ll have pea-nuts…
Shouldn’t that be peeee-nuts Brad? The ‘nut’ jokes seem to be popular with the guys! Thanks for sharing. I know i’m two years late in thanking you but just revisiting this blog post and your comment brought a smile to my face. Thanks!
I am a fellow blogger and ran across this looking for a shining light of laughter in a dark allergy infested time in my life LOL
Thanks for the funny laughs…I did use one of your jokes you shared on there and gave to a link back to here so hopefully you will get some new subscribers to your blog. I am enjoying it…best!
Heather
Heather – I’m glad you’re enjoying it. I love your blog too. Keep up the good work. Hope you saw you got a mention recently on a blog I did about my favourite blogs…
I’ve been absent for a while, but now I remember why I used to love this blog. Thanks , I’ll try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your site?
Hi Konto. I update it every week, unless I’m really busy or on holiday and haven’t had time to schedule some posts. Why not subscribe to the weekly newsletter then you’ll never forget to check back? Visit: http://www.whatallergy.com/subscribe
Hi and thanks for your post. I’m doing a project for university and this information was very useful for my research. A Stumble for your efforts
My son now aged 10 is allergic to egg and dairy and intolerant to soya. Spontaneity is most definitely not the order of any day.
But whilst on holiday in Cornwall, a few years ago, and wanting sea-side fish and chips, I went into the chip shop and asked if they had a dedicated fryer for the fish and chips (to avoid cross contamination etc) “Yes we do.” came the reply “but he doesn’t start until 6 o’clock.”
I was so grateful to that girl for making me laugh so much, even though she doesn’t know it, it’s a dark world sometimes.
Now I’m in suspense! Where is the link?
I get it now. Thanks for the mention, and I read your blog post with tears in my eyes. I often feel that. I get such a low immune system I just run out batteries sometimes, can’t face getting up, feel so depressed. And you’re right, not many people understand. I fear you live a long way from me so we cant’ meet up and whinge. I’ve heard of sulphite allergy and I do have real problems with a lot of the deadly nightshade family and most wine. Does vodka have Sulphites?
Thanks for the mention, and I read your blog post with tears in my eyes. I often feel that. I get such a low immune system I just run out batteries sometimes, can’t face getting up, feel so depressed. And you’re right, not many people understand. I fear you live a long way from me so we cant’ meet up and whinge. I’ve heard of sulphite allergy and I do have real problems with a lot of the deadly nightshade family and most wine. Does vodka have Sulphites?