What gets me is those people who will say, “Steak WITH cheese sauce please. I can eat EVERYTHING.” They say this after I have ordered mine, checking they don’t ‘butter the steak’, requesting no sauce, and checking whether the mushrooms are cooked in butter and asking not to have the onion rings or tomato.
Well woop de woop. Bully for you. You lucky ****. I used to be like you and I would love to just say, “Lamb shank please” or “Steak and ale pie” without having to qualify and clarify that I am not going to be served a meal that will send me into anaphylaxis.
Or when you order a drink, people who just have to say it. They can’t help themselves. Oh you know who you are.
When I order a black coffee or some kind of herbal tea, or request a hot beverage without the dairy milk, trying not to make a fuss, because really I am not fussy… is THIS comment.
“Just builders’ tea, milk, no sugar, as it comes. I can’t drink that cat’s piss stuff.”
Well once again. Thanks for sharing. If I’m honest I would rather not be drinking the cat’s piss either, but because I don’t have much choice, and because I would like to join in with normal life and share a drink with you so called ‘normal’ people, I am quite happy to have just a glass of water if it is the only safe option.
And to be quite honest, anything is better than stewed black tea. Even cat’s piss herbal stuff, trust me on that.
My taste buds have changed, and my mind set has had to change. I can’t sit sobbing for ever mourning for the loss of a proper cup of tea with normal milk… so why, oh why, do people who CAN eat and drink what they like, have to make such a big thing out of how AMAZINGLY unfussy they are.
Believe me, before this shit happened to me I was quite probably THE least fussy eater on the planet. I loved school dinners, I looked forward to airline food, I enjoyed all foods, including Brussels sprouts, pot noodle, my mum’s cooking (this is just to check if she is reading…), basically as unfussy as you can get.
If you were ordering food with a vegetarian, would you say, “I’ll have the 20 oz steak because I love meat and am proud to be a meat eater and am just dying to eat my rare steak in front of you, you vegan fussy freak.” Would you? Would you say that?
If you were dining with someone who needed to use a wheelchair, and who asked about disabled access and toilet facilities, would you say, “Oh my legs work just fine, I can run and walk and sit in a normal chair, I’m no trouble because lucky for me I’m a completely normal moron.”
No you would not, because that is rude, but for some reason, belittling people with allergies, and being smugly proud of your ability to eat anything makes you feel good. Allergies are real. They are not a choice, like vegetarianism, or being vegan. We are not being fussy. I have been to A&E more times than I would like to remember because of anaphylactic reactions caused by my allergies. Thankfully I am still here, but I am only here because I check, check and check again and avoid the allergens that could kill me, at all cost.
All I ask? Be bloody grateful that you are lucky enough not to have allergies and have the good grace to order your meal simply, normally, with no comments about how bloody normal you are… because I would bloody love to be able to do that.
This blog post was inspired by a rather brilliant article by Lane Moore Stop lying about having food allergies which is something else that really winds me up… A great read and I completely get everything she says. It makes life for us people with allergies so much harder so quit lying OK? If you can eat a bit of bread or some milk in your tea every now and then YOU DO NOT HAVE AN ALLERGY…
Unleash your anger more often, Ruth! I like it …
I wonder whether, sometimes, it’s more about being smug and self-satisfied about being able to eat everything, rather than an attempt to belittle those with allergies. Being unfussy about food is considered a positive attribute here – being picky or selective is being ‘posh’ or snobby, even though it’s the norm in other food cultures such as mainland Europe’s. I can’t help feeling these are connected.
Gosh I quite like it too… a bit scary but I may have unleashed a monster… I ran that blog past Mr What Allergy and he made me post it last night without editing or checking because he loved it so much.
And yes I agree, I think it’s all about being smug and it is thoughtless, whatever your smugness is in aid of, if the person who inspires such smugness is in the rooom! I shouldn’t say this, but quite often, the peope who are ‘smug’ about being able eat everything should probably not do so as they perhaps could do with eating perhaps a bit less. So I sit smugly in my seat knowing that my allergies keep me slim. Mwah ha ha ha. Gosh where is my bitchy streak coming from?
And yes, it is possitive to not be fussy so I think that’s why people say stuff. People who order their baby new potatoes must only be from Jersey, harvested during a new moon and washed in spring water from Scotland. People who order complicated things, just to get some attention, like celebrities or posh people. You could have a point there.
“If you can eat a bit of bread or some milk in your tea every now and then YOU DO NOT HAVE AN ALLERGY…” is a great truth. We need to understand a number of issues here. Food allergy can result in death if not treated swiftly and properly if there is accidental ingestion of foods one is allergic to. Allergy is on the severe end of a number of mechanisms that are described as food hypersensitivity. Though other forms of food hypersensitivity including various ‘intolerance’ are rarely dangerous they can be extremely unpleasant in terms of symptoms and limiting ones diet.
Its surprising to hear that so many people are deliberately rude or unthinking but as I don’t have a potentially life threatening food allergy I guess it doesn’t impact on me.
We need to continue raising the profile and educate the genera public, media, legislators and healthcare professionals.
I does drive me mad how people with intolerances say they have an allergy when they don’t, awareness is still pretty poor but it is getting better, slowly. You just never ever see anyone on tv in a film, sitcom, tv programme who has allergies, it is just never covered so the situation is made harder. The only people talking about allergies are the BBC on the odd occasion and comedians making fun of us. If we can address the balance about general awareness and just keep on talking about it and sharing our own experiences we will get there, I hope. Seems to be baking too long though.
Most people are not unkind about allergies, only a very few people are mean or rude and they probably just don’t understand. I met a woman who has a kid with a severe nut allergy and she said she had a terrible job getting over it because previously she had been one of these people who thought allergies were all in the head! Poor kid… anyway she learnt the hard way and had to eat her words. I don’t think some people get it until they have either known someone or seen someone having a reaction which is sad, all the doubting. Anyway thanks for the comment and see you soon.