Returning from an allergy infested week away I wish that at my ripe old age I could be strong enough and vigilant enough to remain healthy when eating in someone elses house. It isn’t just their fault, it’s also mine.
I’ve been there loads of times, and they are truly amazing and accommodating. There is always Rice Dream milk and Pure sunflower spread in the fridge and often homemade flapjacks – a particular weakness of mine
. Lovely, delicious home cooked food, vegetables from the garden and all cooked for us. What more could a girl ask for right?
But there was also gravy… There is always the gravy. We have had the gravy conversation SOOOOOOOOO many times, and I know that my ‘special’ gravy isn’t that popular with everyone. I THOUGHT it would be OK. So the comment, “this is one that you’ve had before…” should have set the alarm bells ringing, but I didn’t check, and I have been less vigilant lately, having gravy and stock cubes with wheat/gluten sometimes as long as there was no celery or dairy. So if I get confused and lax how can I expect others to always know what I am and am not eating?
I should have taken my own stock cubes, gravy granules and quietly made my own, but, well, I forgot.
I shouldn’t have had the Swedish Glace dairy free ice cream because I know I’ve begun to have reactions to that too.
The problem is that I won’t keel over if I eat celery or monosodium glutamate (MSG) laced gravy, but I will definitely wake up looking like I’ve spent too long in the sun. It burns the skin on my face. I look, quite frankly, ridiculous and I feel miserable. There is a constant itch and pain from the swollen skin and it takes a good three to four days for the effects to die down.
I knew I’d eaten something bad. My husband noticed and caught the sharp end of my tongue, which was not fair. But he was there and trying to be kind and so I’m afraid he caught the worst of my temper. If I’m honest though, I should have been more insistent. I should have checked. I should have taken more supplies of the REAL gravy as I usually do.
But it’s those questions, can you eat this, can you eat these? Sometimes you just want to go along with things. To forget, to avoid the questions and having to say, No, NO, NO NO NO NONONONONO.
On the journey home I lick my wounds, thankful it is only a mild reaction, and don’t think mild isn’t painful. Mild means I can see out of my eyes and am not crying with the pain. I am just a little annoyed I let it happen. Because ultimately this episode was my fault.
We stopped at Burger King for a snack on the way home. I know that I can have the fries and onion rings (somewhat of a treat since onion rings are usually off the menu) but I wanted to check to make sure. I asked to see the allergen menu, in the queue, which is always a bit embarassing. They don’t have one and they have no idea what’s in the onion rings. There is no apology and no eye contact.
I probably was muttering under my breath like a mad woman. “Brilliant! No allergen information, I shall be reporting this…” I say probably, I was definitely muttering. Husband kindly and quietly whispered, “are you sure you want to risk having this without checking?”
To which I respond, directly to the young guy serving us, who is still looking down at his feet and avoiding any eye contact with the crazy lady, “I’ll have to risk it, I’m sure they are OK, they were last time. I’ll have fries and onion rings please”.
Whilst waiting I managed to check online to confirm, and yes, the onion rings are still dairy and celery free.
I am ashamed to say that I was a bit rude. I was even more cross when our food arrived minus onion rings or fries for me! By now husband is decidedly embarrassed on my behalf, but I’m on a roll.
I look for my fries in the bag, is seems the onion rings AND fries are missing! Now I’m really cross.
When the poor man arrives with our food I ask him, “Can you please check our order?” In a voice just slightly too loud. People were looking over. “I did actually order some chips and onion rings but they aren’t in the bag …” to which the man skuttles off and returns with the missing food, without a word.
I now feel very mean. Perhaps he was just shy. Perhaps it was just a genuine mistake and not an effort to ignore and annoy the allergy freek. The steam pouring out of my ears slowly begins to recede.
Sorry to the man at Long Crendon Burger King. I got a bit cross. I’m not normally like that.
I just hate having allergies. Why do I deserve this?
Today I am still cross. Cross with the cards life has given me, cross with myself for not being organised and alert and cross with EVERYTHING!
Tea in bed this morning did help but if someone asks me one more time,
“Can you eat these chocolates?”
“Can you eat these mini cheddars?”
“Can I put a bit of butter in to start this off?”
“Would you like milk in your coffee?” (after I’ve just explained my dairy allergy…)
Just watch out today…
Oh I dream of being able to just walk out of the house without a bag and just go and eat anywhere, order anything from the menu, and wake up EVERY day with just normal skin. I don’t want perfect skin, just some skin that isn’t raised, raw, swollen and itchy when I inadvertently eat the wrong stuff.
This is just a gentle warning to everyone. Steer well clear. The usual smiling, happy, kind, patient Ruth has left the building.
Thanks for this site, i dont feel as alone 🙂
You are not alone Jo! I have got over my rant now and do feel much better. I usually always try to find the positive side to everything but sometimes a good rant is just what the doctor ordered!
Ruth .. I believe I’ve mentioned this before, but since you’re having such troubles .. I will ‘mention/suggest’ again. Try NAET. I can tell you from 5 years experience two major things I’ve learned about allergy and NAET:
1) You MUST interview the NAET practitioner. Unfortunately, not everyone who gets ‘certified’ to offer NAET treatment, is capable of fully engaging the NAET process. I interviewed 7 practitioners in my region and found the one person who has been most helpful to me. I’ve interviewed several others from around the US and Canada for other MCS/allergy sufferers, finding that ‘many are certified, but few are functional’.
2) Which leads to my second point: NAET, when conducted by a qualified and fully-engaged practitioner, REALLY works!
It is NOT a quick fix. Nothing that really does work, is. But it does work. I have only one set of allergies that I ‘don’t know’ -for sure – whether they are, ‘no longer a problem or not’: pork and shell-fish. The reason I don’t know about them, is simple: for religious dietary reasons I don’t eat them.
There is however, one indicator that leads me to believe I MAY no longer be anaphylactic to shell-fish. I can eat locust/grasshoppers (Kosher foods) and I have not experienced the anaphylactic response that led me to the knowledge – in my early teens – that I was anaphylactic to chitin (the protein found in exoskeleton of crustaceans as well as insects: and fingernails, too.
Though I would not intentionally eat any type of crustacean or mollusk (non-Kosher foods) I have a ‘quasi-worry free’ sense now that should I accidentally get something in my food while ‘eating out’ (happened twice and both times EPIpens saved my life!) … I may not need to use the EPIpen. I am NOT – however – going to just ‘try it’ to find out.
I can list over 15 things I was formerly having allergic responses to, that I no longer express negatively when exposed. Among them: gluten, soy, peanuts, some dairy (mostly milk), mold, fungus (mushrooms), corn, sugar, chocolate, fragrances, Fabreze (a very dangerous GM corn product), xylene and almost anything made from petroleum.
Prior to NAET, I could NOT be around ANY of these items: PERIOD: without a major reaction; some quite violent. Now, if I am exposed to them, I have either manageable, or no reaction at all.
However – one other point I will make; based upon my 10 year run w/ MCS problems: I will ALWAYS be MCS – but I will NOT necessarily react with violent or debilitating consequences. The reason for the latter … I have learned that in order to remain in a balanced state of equilibrium: where my system is able to ‘tolerate’ a certain, controlled level of chemical toxicity; I must avoid concentrated locations or ingestion of the ‘problem chemicals (breathing or eating). This includes some foods.
There is NO means – not even NAET – that will ‘totally repair, fix, heal or otherwise return a person with an allergy or MCS condition to a ‘pre-condition’ state. What occurs is simply this: utilizing the NAET treatment for allergy (or even Neuroplasticity), your body is re-taught and re-trained to once-again find it’s balanced state of equilibrium, amid the toxic soup we are exposed to daily. In the process, learning to live a life without ‘reacting’ to external toxins – so long as exposure to such toxins are kept at a reasonable level. Exceed the ‘safe levels’ and you will be right back into the problem zone and sick.
This is why I’ve been such a strong advocate and educator AGAINST the use of any promotional, marketing, testimonial language that either intimates or out-right says, ‘using X will cure you of X problem and you will be able to return to your life as before’. That is ludicrous and stupid. It makes no more sense to say such rubbish – than it would be to tell and alcoholic or drug addict – that once they are dry/clean, they can return ‘to their old way of living without restraint or worry’. No different. And just as much an illogical lie.
If one wants to get rid of the problem of allergies and MCS (just a more violent and insidious form of allergy), then nothing shy of a full life change is in order.
On the other hand, if a person has not come to the point where living WITH an allergy is NO WAY TO LIVE, they are likely to remain a pharmacy junkie.
I have had people tell me that they would not want to enslave themselves to such a cloistered life-style as why I live. I will agree, it’s not easy. In today’s world, it’s demanding; annoying and down-right maddening at times. But, if one stays with the ‘program’, good health returns. The body gets stronger. Thus opening the window for more options for getting ‘out of the cocoon’.
When confronted with that line of commentary, I will ask them why they don’t think popping foreign chemicals in an attempt to – stave-off-effects – yet not dealing with causation at all! – and living their lives in A/C environments or in total avoidance of ‘active periods or items’ is not being tied to a ‘cloistered life-style’.. ? And how the pharmacological choice can even be compared to actually living a more healthy life-style, drug-free.
Most people are of two camps: 1) belligerent and confrontational; or 2) ignorant and avoiding. Very few people are readily open to investigate their options. To me, one of the saddest things is to see a person, floundering in the pain and agony of a totally fixable problem – refuse with venomous reluctance – that which they desire: solution to their suffering.
I was among the group whom I speak now. That group is those who come to solutions such as NAET and / or Neuroplasticity – as the ‘last thing they can turn to’. The solution was here all along. Many times presented as options, but refused. Then – when the pain got to be too much – as a ‘last ditch effort’ – then, the … ‘been there all the time’ solutions are tapped into, with astonishing results.
So, I reiterate. Give it a try. There is no such thing as ‘someone whom NAET will not work for’. There ARE many practitioners who just don’t know HOW to properly administer and facilitate the NAET process. Find the right ‘source of help’ and you WILL find NAET is a powerful, productive solution.
Best success.
Hi there Les. Yes I did try this but my nearest practitioner was a long way away and because I have a very complicated immune system and am sensitive to sooooooooo many things it was just costing me too much. I don’t have that much money unfortunately. However, I’m sure it can work if you have someone nearby, the time and money to invest in it. I know it’s not a short term fix, it’s a committment, like a lot of these things. So it’s in the back of my mind. Working for myself isn’t paying the most money so who knows.
You and me both Ruth, we had a few tears here yesterday too. Must have been the weekend for it. P’s birthday on Tuesday and we wanted to be able to go out and have sushi and down a glass of sparkly in Selfridges like we used to for a treat. It’s a cruel trick that now I feel so much better I want to start living a life again but I have to be so restricted to be able to feel that well. VERY annoying!
I can no longer eat anything I haven’t made myself or drink sparkly currently so was feeling sorry for myself! We joined the National Trust and spent the day wandering around Charlecote Park and determinedly having a picnic in the cold instead. Well, he is over 50 now so we thought it was about time we joined!
I hope you feel brighter soon. Does you good to have a rant now and then. Life doesn’t feel fair sometimes, does it?
Sorry to hear you’ve had the allergy blues too Micki. So English – picnics outside in the freezing cold. I love it. We had one yesterday on the top of Coombe Hill, fruit! in the biting cold wind. Honest – it was fun – but gloves, coat and hat required. I am getting the point where I am only really safe eating my own food, although I can eat out sometimes at a few cherished safe places. Increasingly the only food that keeps me healthy is simple home cooking. I can eat quite a few of the free from foods though. Thank goodness!
Michelle you are too kind! I’m well over the rant now and smiling again. You are quite right too, ‘ve all do ave problems’ and I am very very bad at complaining, even if it’s politely, and very bad at explaining what a pain it is to people – because I don’t want to moan. No one likes a whinger… but thanks for the kind words. I promise to be smiling and up beat tomorrow at the Free from food awards. Cannot wait! So excited.
Hi Ruth,
I think you’re doing a very important job telling people what it’s really like to live with allergies.I’ve been pretty lucky with my in laws but Chris my son is now going through the same process getting to know his girlfriend’ family. They all seem obsessed with eating out which is a real challenge for someone with anaphylaxis to dairy. They went into a restaurant last week who flatly refused to serve him and then told him that there was a new law which meant they wouldn’t tell him what ingredients were in the food. Absolute rubbish of course…this was Vintage Inns (by the way)
I hope you’re feeling better now?
Keep up the rants!