If you have allergies but aren’t the only one in the house who has them, chances are you can’t always eat what everyone else is having. There are a few takes on this. Some choose to ban the allergen so the whole family avoids it. This is fine if it’s just one allergen. Indeed, all nuts are banned from this house due to the severity of my allergy to them, especially peanuts. You can live quite happily without nuts and you will not be lacking in any particular vitamins or minerals.
However, things get complicated when someone in the family or household has multiple allergies. Why should everyone else miss out on major food groups? Personally I think that’s unhealthy for other family members but if allergies are very severe I can understand the need for vigilance and the only real way to keep your house truly safe is to ban them all.
When major food groups are cut out it’s essential to make sure you are getting all the important vitamins and minerals for a healthy balanced lifestyle. It’s hard enough when one person is struggling with limited food choices; I don’t think it would work if my husband couldn’t eat most foods. After all I’m convinced that my allergies are far worse since cutting stuff out so well. The reactions have got so severe, but what are the other options? When even small amounts give you eczema you naturally don’t want to eat that food.
If I asked you whether you could live without eating:
- All nuts, especially peanuts
- Dairy, including milk, butter, cheese, yogurt and all products, sauces containing traces etc.
- Tomatoes
- Celery
- Gluten, wheat etc. including bread, cakes, stock cubes, sauces…
- Limit your consumption of eggs and avoid mayonnaise and salad creme
What would you say? Would you reply, “Hell yeah! Bring it on!” or would your mind be racing with thoughts of what on earth does she eat? Rice cakes and oat crackers…?
There is hope, you can eat really healthily with allergies, but you can also prepare meals for the whole family where one has freefrom and the others have the ‘normal’ stuff. Things like gluten free pasta have actually come a long way and would be perfectly tasty for everyone to eat. Spaghetti is getting there.
We manage to mostly eat the same thing and my husband has the naughty banned food when I’m away, or for lunch when he’s at work.
We do have milk, cheese and yogurt in the fridge for him that I can’t eat. Because these foods can be stored in sealed containers I’m fairly happy about it. His milk sits at the opposite end of the fridge door to mine. Cheese is carefully wrapped and he usually has the dairy free spread as it’s pretty good as a subsitute to margerine spreads and butter.
Sometimes though, we cook separate meals at the same time. I say we, it’s usually me who does the cooking! (had to get that little dig in somewhere)
For instance I cook chilli and we can both eat everything except the tomato and/or puree.
So, once all the other ingredients are in we split half into another pan.
One pan gets the evil tomato and I make mine with Free&Easy freefrom gravy or my very own tomato free red sauce.
But there are rules!
The rules of cooking two meals when one of you has allergies
- Very special care is taken when adding the allergen to the other pan
- All pans keep their lids on at all times
- All pans have separate spoons for stirring
- Mine is cooked on the right. R for Ruth. R for (always) right.
- His is cooked on the left. L for lucky so-and-so
- Spoons are kept on the same side as the pan when not in use
- Spoons or utensils are not mixed between pans
- Leave spoons in pans if leftovers remain
- Ensure you use the correct spoon for transferring any leftovers into bowls for eating the next day or freezing
- Carefully label containers with allergen freefrom status!
The rules are strict! But they have to be or it’s a painful night for both.
This works really well, most of the time. I think we transfered the leftovers into bowls using the wrong spoons recently as I had a very tomato infested night this week. It only takes a tiny trace for a nasty reaction. Not severe enough for me to have anaphylaxis and my reactions are delayed, but I wake in the night with blistering, itchy skin; liquid oozing out of my forhead and neck. Delightful! The innocent tomato does this to me – the swine!
Do you ban all your and/or your child’s allergens from your house? Or do live alongside the sloshing milk, the crumby bread and the evil tomato and celery? Would you risk cooking two meals at the same time, one freefrom and one with allergens?
Hi Ruth
We are in the same position as we have one with severe allergies and the other diets are ‘normal’. He has a separate drawer in the fridge, milk on the far side away from anything dangerous, we still have cheese etc but kept wrapped up and in separate drawer, a separate freezer and cupboards with all utensils and foods and a dedicated oven for just him…we don’t use our grill anymore! it does keep him safe and I cook safe meals in the same way….he has just been diagnosed with Oral Allergy Syndrome as well as already being Dairy, Egg, Wheat, Soya, Sulphite and Histamine free and we are always being asked ‘what does he eat’….he eats very well with plenty choice and lots of home cooking….thanks for posting your experiences, it certainly gives us hope that we are bringing him up the right way…
Hey Michelle. It’s always good to hear others experiences and that I am not alone. The nuts and celery are banned because they really are scary, but I can’t expect my husband to cut out dairy and tomatoes. I feel that they are safe enough for him to have them and me to avoid them, if we’re careful, and what happens when you leave your little safe bubble of a house? YOu can’t expect friends to banish all your allergens from their house, or restaurants to do the same, or schools. We all have to learn how to live wiht our allergens, they will always be around, we just have to avoid eating them!
I think most of these food groups are not ‘necessary’ for a healthy balanced diet. OK nuts are really rich in nutrients but you know there are healthy alternatives, eggs are rich in protein and choline but so are other foods and lots of people ‘choose’ (I realise this is very different from those that have no choice) not to have celery. I’d love to hear who prepares one dish a night for all family members that meets everyone’s needs whatever their dietary restrictions. I know from person experience that this is hard but it would be great to share these ideas.
You’re right that you don’t ‘need’ these food groups, but my husband loves tomatoes and doesn’t like the dairy free milks. To deprive him of not only the nuts (that he does love but hasn’t eaten for years except when he’s out and I’m away so he’s not going to see me at all that day) but also milk, cheese – which he adores AND tomatoes. Seems a bit rough. I have trouble with gluten too – his palette would not stretch to dairy free cheese, milk, and gluten free bread. He’s tried it and doesn’t like it. So most of the time we eat the same, but for a few meals, like spaghetti bolognese and chilli – he has tomatoes in his and I make a gravy for mine. The rest of the time we eat mostly the same stuff. When he has cheese he knows he’s got to prepare it himself and clear up the mess if there is any. He is very well trained. Celery – everyone could live without – yuk! I could never be a vegan – where would I get protein from? Luckily I can eat cooked eggs.
My daughter is allergic to eggs, peanuts, kiwis, watermelon and mustard. We avoid eggs altogether as, quite frankly, I don’t like them much and hubby doesn’t care too much either way. Peanuts are absolutely forbidden from our house and we avoid them like the plague when we are out (on one occasion hubby had some while he was out, came home, carefully washed his face and hands, touched our daughter who immediately came out in hives – they are poison!). Hubby has kiwis for breakfast but washes carefully after eating, ditto mustard and as for watermelon, no-one is a big fan so we don’t have a problem there.
Thanks for the comment Jenny. Yeah I could live without the kiwi, watermelon and mustard. I do use mustard occasionally to marinate meat but there are other things you can use. Peanuts are poison. Someone was eating them at the theatre when I went with a friend recently. I almost left but it was a really good play. I could just smell it so strongly and my wrist came up in hives! I didn’t knowingly touch anything but it’s those fine salty particles that spread. Yuk! There are loads of things you can use to replace Eggs in baking. Must do a blog about that. I am lucky I can eat them cooked now. Reintroduced them recently and so pleased I can have fried egg again. Not mayo though but I can live without that.