I’m not sorry my skin is bad or that I haven’t washed my hair.
I’m not sorry that I’m not wearing makeup.
I’m not sorry that I can’t eat certain foods or that I have multiple allergies.
I’m not sorry for being such a pain, for being so awkward and fussy and basically a freak of nature!
I’m not sorry that I didn’t respond to your email trying to sell me something.
This year I am going to stop saying sorry.
I read a brilliant blog post this week by Daniella Balarezo, which stopped me in my tracks, because I am always saying sorry.
It’s a brilliant article and outlines the kinds of things you could say instead. For instance, if you’re late, simply say, ‘Thank you so much for waiting for me before ordering. ‘ or something like that. Not, ‘sorry I’m late’, although this is a bad example for me as I have an almost unreasonable phobia of being late and am usually far too early for most things. I think I’d still find myself apologising for being late!
But we should never apologise for who we are, for feeling shy or simply for feeling inferior for being a woman. Reading and listening to this the Ted Talk made realise just how much I do say sorry… I mean all the time!
I’m one of those people who apologises when someone knocks into them. It happened just last night whilst out running with my running club. It was dark, and I happened to knock into my friend Jen. She apologised to me, and then I apologised to her… ‘No, No it was definitely me who knocked into you!’ and this article sprung into my mind. A different response might have been, ‘Oops!’ and perhaps to check they’re OK but it wasn’t intentional and usually the person has hardly noticed you bumped into them anyway. We had a chat and a laugh about it and apologised for both being sorry, sorry, sorry repeated offenders.
I’m so sorry for saying sorry
I’m so sorry for saying sorry so much. It’s been ingrained in me from a young age, I’ve been doing it for years!
Now I’m not saying you should never apologise, not at all, but save apologies for when they are really necessary. Like when you’ve snapped at a good friend, behaved selfishly or let someone down. There are certainly massive benefits in being able to admit your mistakes, to hold up your hand and admit you’ve messed up, need help, support etc.
But from now on I am going to make a concerted effort not to apologise for the fact that I am having a hard time. That my skin is not at its best and I am struggling with Topical Steroid Withdrawal. It’s bad enough that I’m having to experience this, I certainly don’t need to be apologising for it all the time.
Please watch this video below to get an idea of the message we send to others when we continually apologise when it’s not necessary…
I have 100% done what the women mentioned in the video above have done. I’ve stepped up onto a stage and not felt worthy to be there and made my excuses from the start about just being a blogger, not really being an expert, not knowing how I can follow the previous excellent speaker.
So from now on I am not sorry for who I am. It I am invited to speak somewhere I shall try to channel pride and confidence, because I have very right to be there, to share my experiences and use my voice to create change.
Be proud of your achievements. I am an award winning blogger, speaker and patient expert and am so proud of all that I’ve achieved. Last year I was involved with launching a new podcast and I am writing my first blog. I’m actually pretty amazing!
But I begin and end most of my sentences with sorry! This is going to stop.
Do you apologise too much? I’d love to hear your thoughts. If it’s not too much trouble, I know how busy you are… LOLS! Sorry NOT SORRY.