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My life through Topical Steroid withdrawal – Film review!

28/02/2022 by Ruth Holroyd Leave a Comment

This is a short film that portrays what life is really like living with topical steroid withdrawal. It’s incredible, outstanding and I recommend everyone should watch this and let it be a warning not to use them.

This short film has caught me unawares. I knew it was good because I’d heard the buzz online and spoken to friends who had seen it but I wasn’t ready to watch it. I felt too raw, too emotional, so when I finally sat down today to watch it, I was enthralled and captivated.

I was also brought right back to those dark nights, the hopeless days and weeks when the pain was so intense all I did was get through each day and try to get some food inside me.

Please, please watch this film. It is truly outstanding.

Some phrases and sections will stay with me as Ceci captures the core of my own thoughts.

I’m not dying.. but living hurts.

Walking through this path blind with no sight of how and when our bodies with recover… because there isn’t enough information out there.

She shows this by blindfolding herself with bandages – this felt so poignant and was the first moment tears welled in my eyes.

The bath was and still is such a soothing safe place for me so I felt warmth for Ceci’s journey and struggling seeing how much comfort she took from her baths too.

She describes the symptoms, the itching, the insomnia, the pain, the loneliness with such sensitivity.

And how life goes on around us as we feel stuck, like we’re going backwards not forwards.

She fears she is not capable of being a mother… a good partner.

I’ve felt this too, for my family and friends. I felt like I’d just stepped into a hole and let many of them down by just retreating because that was all I could manage.

I am so thankful to those friends and family who have walked with me through this and given me the courage to be seen and vulnerable with them. Thank you for checking in and encouraging me to walk and run, two things that help me so much, both as distraction and I think aid healing.

The parts where her partner comforts her of brings a drink made me feel so alone. But also so proud of myself for getting through this on my own. I think when I was planning to dive into the depths of TSW I knew I would do better by myself. I planned it so that it began when I had a safe home sorted and some money to tide me over the first few months.

There are so many phrases from the film that moved me deeply… the whole film is poetic and the words chosen carefully and with great effect.

There isn’t a single day I don’t itch – this is so true.

My nightmares have been while awake…

The sound effect of scratching constantly in the background.

The sighs of pain, the hopelessness. The crying in bed.

I have lost count of the times I have cried myself to sleep, in pain, torment and at the end, thinking I would rather not wake to do it all again the next day and next. That this pain is too much. But every day I wake and move forwards.

The anger, the rage. the disappointment when you flare and get worse.

This is not a highly recognise condition in the medical industry. I’d go further and say poorly recognised.

Our bodies are all different but together we can be a stronger community.

Let’s be the change. Let’s create the data.

Healing happens.

It will happen.

Thank you Ceci for this incredible portrayal of a life with TSW, a journey that is still going on for you and for many more of us. A life that is to come in the future for people who do not know they are in danger of addiction and withdrawal.

Please watch this film and please talk about it too.

I have watched it about five times and am going to watch it again. It’s beautiful. I challenge you not to be moved.

And I urge you to stay away from topical steroids and spread the word to others of the dangers too.

You can find Ceci on instagram as misscecifrench

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you watched it?

You may also find the following of interest

  • My Topical Steroid Withdrawal Frequently Asked Questions
  • The Shape of Skin – a poetry book for people with eczema, topical steroid withdrawal, atopic dermatitis, rosacea, psoriasis and sensitive skin.
  • Getting the most out of your Dermatology Appointment

Related posts:

Skin on Fire documentary reviewedSkin on Fire – TSW documentary reviewed Allergies are normalWe need to see disabilities and allergies as normal Long term continual use of topical steroids linked to skin withdrawalMHRA recognise Topical steroid withdrawal

Filed Under: Eczema, Topical Steroid Withdrawal Tagged With: film about topical steroid withdrawal, living with topical steroid withdrawal, living with TSW, TSW film

About Ruth Holroyd

Author of 'Anaphylaxis: The Essential Guide: An Action Plan For Living With Life-Threatening Allergies' and 'The Shape of Skin, both available as paperback or Kindle on Amazon. Ruth is a Writer, Blogger and Patient Expert in allergies, asthma, anaphylaxis, eczema and topical steroid withdrawal.

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Hi I'm Ruth. I've grown up with eczema and multiple life-threatening allergies and collected more as I've got older.  It started with a peanut allergy and now I'm allergic to milk, wheat, soya and many more. In this blog I share tips, advice and things I've learnt living with allergies, asthma and eczema with a focus on topical steroid withdrawal. You can buy my books, which are brilliant by the way! The first is Anaphylaxis: The essential guide and the second, The Shape of Skin, healing poems for eczema and sensitive skin. The reviews speak for themselves. If you want to chat you can find me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn (links below). Do get in touch. And please comment on blogs, it makes a humble blogger do a little happy dance!

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