This is a short film that portrays what life is really like living with topical steroid withdrawal. It’s incredible, outstanding and I recommend everyone should watch this and let it be a warning not to use them.
This short film has caught me unawares. I knew it was good because I’d heard the buzz online and spoken to friends who had seen it but I wasn’t ready to watch it. I felt too raw, too emotional, so when I finally sat down today to watch it, I was enthralled and captivated.
I was also brought right back to those dark nights, the hopeless days and weeks when the pain was so intense all I did was get through each day and try to get some food inside me.
Please, please watch this film. It is truly outstanding.
Some phrases and sections will stay with me as Ceci captures the core of my own thoughts.
I’m not dying.. but living hurts.
Walking through this path blind with no sight of how and when our bodies with recover… because there isn’t enough information out there.
She shows this by blindfolding herself with bandages – this felt so poignant and was the first moment tears welled in my eyes.
The bath was and still is such a soothing safe place for me so I felt warmth for Ceci’s journey and struggling seeing how much comfort she took from her baths too.
She describes the symptoms, the itching, the insomnia, the pain, the loneliness with such sensitivity.
And how life goes on around us as we feel stuck, like we’re going backwards not forwards.
She fears she is not capable of being a mother… a good partner.
I’ve felt this too, for my family and friends. I felt like I’d just stepped into a hole and let many of them down by just retreating because that was all I could manage.
I am so thankful to those friends and family who have walked with me through this and given me the courage to be seen and vulnerable with them. Thank you for checking in and encouraging me to walk and run, two things that help me so much, both as distraction and I think aid healing.
The parts where her partner comforts her of brings a drink made me feel so alone. But also so proud of myself for getting through this on my own. I think when I was planning to dive into the depths of TSW I knew I would do better by myself. I planned it so that it began when I had a safe home sorted and some money to tide me over the first few months.
There are so many phrases from the film that moved me deeply… the whole film is poetic and the words chosen carefully and with great effect.
There isn’t a single day I don’t itch – this is so true.
My nightmares have been while awake…
The sound effect of scratching constantly in the background.
The sighs of pain, the hopelessness. The crying in bed.
I have lost count of the times I have cried myself to sleep, in pain, torment and at the end, thinking I would rather not wake to do it all again the next day and next. That this pain is too much. But every day I wake and move forwards.
The anger, the rage. the disappointment when you flare and get worse.
This is not a highly recognise condition in the medical industry. I’d go further and say poorly recognised.
Our bodies are all different but together we can be a stronger community.
Let’s be the change. Let’s create the data.
It will happen.
Thank you Ceci for this incredible portrayal of a life with TSW, a journey that is still going on for you and for many more of us. A life that is to come in the future for people who do not know they are in danger of addiction and withdrawal.
Please watch this film and please talk about it too.
I have watched it about five times and am going to watch it again. It’s beautiful. I challenge you not to be moved.
And I urge you to stay away from topical steroids and spread the word to others of the dangers too.
You can find Ceci on instagram as misscecifrench
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you watched it?