It might sound cheesy, but the more you tell yourself good things the more you brain is tricked into believing it. And this works even if you are lying through gritted teeth.
And you wanna know why? Because if you’re like me, you’ve been feeding your brain negative stuff your whole life. When the voice in your head is mean, and that’s the only voice it hears, what choice does it have?
We are our own worst enemy a lot of the time and our very own resident bully.
I’ll bet no one, or at least not many people, talk to you like you speak to yourself.
I learnt this the hard way. I found myself sitting in my therapists office weeping and in pieces literally because she had asked me to say out loud, I love you Ruth, to myself.
I couldn’t do it. Refused. And when challenged, realised the hard, terrible truth. I didn’t love myself.
This just didn’t make sense as I have so much empathy for others that it hurts.
Yet none for myself. This was a turning point to discovering the joy of being selfish, looking after myself and no one else and starting to love myself again.
And in turn, to love this skin that I’m living in. It’s my skin and it’s doing a very good job at trying to heal.
Despite all the topical steroids and immunosuppressants I threw at it, it’s finally learning who it is now. And I am finally treating my skin kindly, with love, with gentle kindness and with sensitivity.
Why positive affirmations work
One thing I do is tell myself, daily, I love you Ruth. And I also tell myself how well I’m doing. How well my skin is healing. That I love my skin even when it’s painful, sore and unsightly. It doesn’t mean I have to like it, but learning to accept the current situation has really helped me.
Many days I’m lying. I don’t believe it. Sometimes the old mean thoughts come back. “You’re ugly, who could love a woman with such awful skin, no one likes you, you are worthless…” and I let these thoughts pass. They are just thoughts, they are not true and they are not me.
I really love these Positive Affirmation Cards for your skin created by Lex at The Real Skin Club. They also do vinyl messages for your mirror.
I have a few in my bathroom; I am enough, I am resilient, and I am not defined by my skin. I also have one on my laptop and stickers on my diary, because I don’t like mirrors and often avoid looking in them.
I regularly turn to my cards and choose one. Sometimes I put it back and choose another, but they do really help me. I focus on the words on the card and really speak my truth. They’re beautiful colours and they all hold a strong, positive affirmation to help you start the day.
Ruth you are beautiful.
You are enough.
You are not defined by your skin.
The more I worked on this the more relaxed I felt, the more at home in my skin and my body. The more forgiving. The less anxious I felt.
And I want to say this to any of you reading and thinking they can’t do this, whether it’s your skin or another part of your life, your health or your situation. It doesn’t define you. You are beautiful, you are unique and you are doing just fine.
Visit The Real Skin Club here to shop.
Use my code SHAPEOFSKIN at checkout for 20% off
You also get free shipping on orders over £15.