We need to talk about allergies, anaphylaxis, eczema and topical steroid withdrawal (TSW) more often. They are conditions that people are ashamed to share and talk about and this can cause a lot of shame, anxiety and stress.
This is why it’s so important to accept these things and understand how we can learn to live with allergies, eczema and anaphylaxis, all life limiting conditions that should not limit our enjoyment of life.
I am so excited to share this video, recorded last year when my skin was so much better and I met (on Zoom) with my lovely friend Vicki. In her Hopeful Conversations series she speaks to people who have faced adversity, challenges and illness with positivity and compassion. I’ve watched a few of the others and they are inspirational. It was an absolute privilege to be invited to take part.
Here is our Hopeful Conversation… I hope you find it interesting.
If you haven’t come across Vicki before, we first met when she was The Free From Fairy and she sells her gluten free flour online. I can highly recommend it. I always have some in my cupboard and this reminds me I need to make my favourite cookies and some bread which I’ve been too scared to experiment with.
She also offers psychological support as a wellbeing coach. Visit her Free From Limits website here.
Back when I was in the depths of TSW she offered me a free counselling session and I can honestly say I’d never thought of things before in the way Vicki does. She has a way of explaining things that is completely different. It did confuse me a little at first but when I went away and examined how it made me feel I realised she was right, I was trapped behind layers and layers of wrong beliefs, self doubt and confusion. It wasn’t my fault that this had happened, it just does. It happens because we experience difficult things, trauma and adversity and we accept things we are told. She helped me to see things differently and learn to question those unwelcome thoughts.
Instead of berating myself every time I felt low, questioning myself or giving myself a hard time, I should welcome these feelings. To sit with them. To just be with them. And then to ask them, so what do you want from me now? These circling thoughts, whilst often uncomfortable, are essential to keep us safe, ensure we are alert and vigilant when we need to be, it’s how the fight or flight mechanism works. If we didn’t have them we’d have been eaten by the first saber-toothed tiger that walked past. Now we lead such comparatively safe and comfortable lives we don’t need to be anxious about everything. And it is possible to learn to just let these thoughts come and go. Eventually you can learn to not get involved with them at all, although I’m not quite there yet.
So now, when I have a panic attack I think of that saber-toothed tiger. I tell myself I’m safe and it will pass. I think I am becoming that saber-toothed tiger and when I get through this horrible journey of healing my skin I’m going to be dangerous. I won’t be sitting down and letting what happened to me happen to others. I am going to fight for better eczema care and treatment.
Thankfully I don’t have panic attacks so much now but I did have one on my sofa, safe at home, for no reason at all recently. It wasn’t pleasant, but slowly it passed and my breathing went back to normal.
Anxiety about allergies and anaphylaxis
I think a real turning point for me and my anxiety was to realise that I wasn’t anaphylactic all the time, just when I ate the allergen.
And that anxiety was there simply to keep my safe. I have to accept that I have allergies and need to be vigilant to stay safe but they don’t need to limit my life.
It’s also one of the main reasons I wrote my book, Anaphylaxis: The Essential Guide: An Action Plan For Living With Life-Threatening Allergies
You can find out more about my book and how to buy your copy on Amazon as a paperback or Kindle here.
More about my book – Anaphylaxis – The Essential Guide
Tapping into that instinct inside
One of the things we talk about in our conversation is that internal voice, you could call it instinct. It’s the thing that makes us question things. It’s what makes us inquisitive and also wary. It’s an alarm in our heads when something is not right. It’s also what helps us solve problems and move forwards because most of us have the answer inside us, if we could only find the way to discovering them.
It’s what made me question my doctors and ultimately reject topical steroids for a more natural way of living with eczema. It’s what made me reach out and ask for counselling which I was incredibly lucky to get on the NHS.
It’s what has driven me throughout my life to find happiness and positivity.
Do you think you have it? That inner voice?
There is always hope
If you are feeling alone or confused and don’t know where to turn, find someone to talk to. Whether that’s a family member, friend or you doctor. Or even a support group on social media. Find someone. And if you are stuck, please send me a message. I will help if I can and point you toward someone who you can trust if I can’t. There is always hope, and that’s what these Hopeful Conversations are all about.
Take care everyone and I’d love to hear your thoughts on this video.
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